FATWHITEMAN.COM

New York Nazi

Fat White Man — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 16:44:40 GMT

New York liberal extremist Carolyn McCarthy is not above using her position as a U.S Representative to get police to run Gestapo like raids on those that oppose her politics.

According to the New York Post, McCarthy had her stormtroopers attack a man's home and violate his Constitutionally protected rights because he doesn't agree with her. Now the victim is suing her and the goons that raided him. Good. They should all be charged with a crime too but then that doesn't happen to U.S. Representatives, especially those with socialist political connections.

Hey McCarthy, I don't agree with your commie bullshit either. Guess its a matter of time before you have me raided too.

The Dagoba System

Fat White Man — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 10:53:14 GMT

I have been building a new house for the last year. I went into the crawlspace this weekend to finish up some drains and hang some lights. Hanging from the very first floor joist when you go in was a 5 foot snake skin. There were more spider egg sacks than in the movie Arachnophobia and there were mushrooms growing on the floor. I had to battle Shelob just to hang a junction box.

I know JT has had similar experiences under the house but come on, I haven't even moved in yet and already my crawlspace looks like Yoda's hut.

Back Online

Fat White Man — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 10:39:29 GMT

Well, after two weeks of being cut off from the world with the exception of third world "technicians" Verizon has me back online.

Qualified

Fat White Man — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 13:10:27 GMT

I spent some time last week as a Assistant Scoutmaster for a Boy Scout Troop at summer camp. As I was sitting there in a hot canvass tent, sweating profusely, not getting enough to eat and picking bugs off of me, I had a revelation.

Since I was starving, living in a tent, sweating and picking bugs off of me continuously, I was qualified to be a Verizon Customer Service Specialist.

Day 11

Fat White Man — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 09:36:42 GMT

Eleven days now since Verizon cut off my DSL and I still don't have any service. The local crew came out to run my phone line and said it should be on by this weekend. Guess not.

The service guys that come to your house seem to always be friendly and competent but then Verizon doesn't let you talk to the nearest person that could actually help you. Nope. They connect you to the farthest idiot possible that didn't even know what DSL was before they were trained. Their language is full of English words though mixed in with theirs. This is usually because their native language only has vocabulary for words like "fire", "mud hut" and "banana snake".

Verizon Moves

Fat White Man — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 08:55:01 GMT

I can't tell you how much Verizon sucks. Its kinda like a hangover--you only understand if you've had one. With Verizon, it is the same way: If you have it, you already know. If you don't have it, you can't imagine the piss-poor service and level of dipshits they hire to deal with.

On June 21, I called Verizon Moves to get my phone, DSL and satellite moved to the house I am building. I asked for a July 1 date and they had that available. The lady I talked to said they would have my phone switched by 8 p.m. on July 1, guaranteed. I told the lady not once, not twice but three times that they would have to bring a crew because it was a new construction and the nearest drop was 800 feet away and there were trees, gravel road and a lake to deal with. Three times I was told that the service tech would run a wire to the neighbor's pole and they would come back at a later date to bury the line.

On July 1, i waited for this super service guy to show up. After all, she said 8 p.m. guaranteed. About 5 p.m., the Verizon technician shows up. He drives up and down my road twice and then comes up to tell me that there are too many trees, a gravel road and a lake for him to deal with so they will have to send a crew out. The only thing I could think of to say was "No shit? Really? A whole crew? You mean you can't do it yourself? Maybe I should have told the dumbass lady that 2 weeks ago?"

So, I return to my current residence and of course, Verizon has cut off my phone service. DSL was working though. I called Verizon and after talking to a computer for ten minutes where the mechanical voice "tested my line and couldn't find a problem" I was finally able to talk to one of Verizon's trained monkeys. He kept insisting that they had to turn my phone off to turn the new location on. I explained that that wasn't going to happen today. He insisted they had until 8 p.m., guaranteed. I finally explained to the monkey's supervisor that the service tech was there, left and wasn't coming back. He said my phone would be back on in 15 minutes.

At precisely midnight that night, out goes my DSL. So, in the morning, at 8 a.m. July 2, I called the monkey help line. I was told by some monkey that they had to turn my DSL off to move it to the new location. I explained the situation and that there was no phone line to move it to. He checked and said that they had a move order for July 9 so he would restore it until then. I waited almost 40 hours. Nothing.

So at 11:30 p.m. on July 3, I call the "help" line and after spending 10 minutes with the computer I get to speak to a woman in India. They don't even pretend to be in the U.S. any more though they still adopt a friendly "American" name. Sally with a dot in her forehead told me that my new service wouldn't be ready until July 9. I couldn't get through to her so I asked for her supervisor. I was promptly connected to a trained monkey in the Philippines. I of course had to start over with my explanations and the monkey couldn't deviate from his script. I finally asked for a supervisor and was connected to the head Filipino monkey named "Alan". Alan finally understood the problem but said that they in the Philippines couldn't do anything about it. He said that I could call back at 8 a.m and could speak to an American that could turn it back on. A little perturbed, I went to bed. At 1:28 A.M., the phone rings. I pick it up and it is "Alan" calling to tell me he opened a ticket to get my DSL set back up, should happen in the morning.

At 9 AM on July 4, I tried my DSL and of course, nothing. I called the monkey line and got another dot-head in India so I just told her to connect me with America so she promptly connected me to the Philippines. The Filipino monkey I was connected to told me that it is holiday in U.S. so only Philippines can help. I explained that "Alan" had been working on it last night. The only thing I could get out of him was that my new service wasn't scheduled to begin until July 9 so of course it wouldn't work yet. He's sitting in a tent in the Philippines on a generator powered laptop picking off flies and I'm the dumbass. I ask for his supervisor and get another monkey supervisor which told me that a ticket was opened on July 2, another on July 3 and a third on July 4th and that I would have to wait on my service date. I asked for his supervisor and got the monkey boss.

The monkey boss said that since my service would not be turned on July 9. I told him that there would not even be a phone line there on July 9 and I wanted my old service restored until they could get it moved. He said that it would continue to be denied until my service date.

The monkey boss called back 10 minutes later to tell me that my service would not be on until July 14. Again I was asked that my old service be restored and he said it couldn't happen.

So, I guess I won't be posting anything more until the morons at Verizon turn my DSL back on. Nimrods.

Verizon Technical Support

Fat White Man — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 11:05:45 GMT

Here is Verizon's Technical Support team. I'm pretty sure this is who I have been talking to for three days.

Dear Verizon

Fat White Man — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 10:56:03 GMT

Turn my fucking DSL back on now you morons.

Sincerely,

FatWhiteMan

p.s. Since this is Independence Day how about you let me talk to an American instead of a Filipino, Indian or Pakistani.

UPDATE: Nope, all I was able to talk to this morning was an Indian and 3 Filipinos.

Happy Birthday

Fat White Man — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 07:31:00 GMT

Happy birthday America. And remember to celebrate with liberal quantities of gunfire.

Heller Kitty

Fat White Man — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 09:19:37 GMT

I stole this from DirtCrashr. It was just too cool. He stole it from someone else so I don't feel particularly guilty about it.

French Violate The Three Basic Rules

Fat White Man — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 11:29:57 GMT

The French military was performing a demonstration and gunned down some civilians and each other. Looks like all should be recovering though thank God.

Looks like the French military could do with some NRA training. I would be willing to go help them if they paid for it and spoke English. In the meantime here are the three basic rules:

1. Always keep your muzzle pointed in a safe direction.

2. Never load you firearm until you are ready to use it.

3. Keep your finger off of the trigger until ready to fire.

Or, for the more simple masses: keep your booger hooker off the bang switch.

It is really not the soldiers fault. It comes down to training and muscle memory. Usually, the French surrender long before they actually use ammunition so they are not accustomed to handling it.

One Down

Fat White Man — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 07:02:00 GMT

Wilmette, Ill has suspended enforcement of it's gun ban in the wake of the Heller decision by the U.S. Supreme Court. In case you are not gun nut savvy, their ban was made famous in 2003 when Wilmette resident Hale DeMar prevailed in a home invasion attempt but was later charged with violating the village's gun law. Outraged, Illinois gun owners mobilized and sought passage of a law that would bar the prosecution for gun violations against anyone defending their home with a firearm.

Of course, gun champion Hussein OBAMA voted against this law. Seems OBAMA wants to prosecute anyone daring to protect themselves rather than relying solely on the state to protect you. From Obama's point of view anyway such a s law is bad because it degrades world socialism which he is a very staunch proponent of. Don't let Hussein's campaign bullshit fool you, he is as anti-freedom as his ally Dick Daly, Bloomberg or any of those other numbnuts that were crying Thursday morning.

Oh well, the little silly local gun laws are going to topple like dominoes now. Can't wait for Chicago's gun ban to make a big thud when it comes down. The sound of big Dick Daly's blubbering and tantrums will be louder than any gunfire.

Outraged Dick

Fat White Man — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 07:43:39 GMT

Chicago's Mayor Richard Daly is outraged with the Heller decision. He is afraid people will have guns in their homes to protect themselves. I mean really, what would Chicago do with reduced crime?

What a tool. Daly is probably the biggest hypocrite and numbnut West of Mayor Bloomberg. He enjoys a full protection of armed guards but does not want anyone else to have a means of defense. How pricks like this get into office and stay there is amazing.

Notice how the reporter, Jae Miller, had to almost correct herself to insert the required media bias: "which in turn will make it difficult to fight crime in the street".

Blogger Sued

Fat White Man — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 07:38:00 GMT

A blogger that publishes River Vices has been sued by a Portsmouth, Ohio attorney who claims the blog hurt his practice by referring to him as a "shyster" and a "crooked attorney".

I'm not sure I understand. I thought "lawyer" and "Shyster" were interchangeable terms. Oh well, if not, the "victim" attorney is also on Portsmouth City Council. That should be enough right there to call his reputation into question.

I thought freedom of the press allowed a wide berth when criticizing public office holders but I guess a court full of shysters lawyers will decide the outcome. Wonder how that will work out?

Out Of The Woodwork

Fat White Man — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 07:36:17 GMT

I knew it wouldn't take long for the libtards to crawl out and start crying.

Repeal the 2nd Amendment

Idiots.

Media Bias

Fat White Man — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 07:32:00 GMT

Ever notice whenever the media shows a gun story and they show stock footage of a customers shopping at a gun store that the customers are always obese white guys?

Is this simply law of averages or real media bias? I'm not sure from my experience. Every time I buy a gun there is a fat white guy at the counter.

A Good First Step

Fat White Man — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 14:28:40 GMT

The U.S. Supreme Court has made a good first step when they ruled against D.C. in today's landmark opinion. In case you haven't heard, we* won.

At least since the gun control act of 1968, gun banners, when offering an opinion on a new gun control measure, have always began with "it is a good first step". A first step to what? Tom Gresham who hosts a weekly radio show and podcast called Guntalk, believes that the following steps they seek lead to a total ban and I tend to agree with him.

The anti-freedom crowd led by the likes of Paul Helmke, Chuck Schumer, Diane Finestein, Hussein Obama and a whole "gaggle of numbnuts" to quote Ted Nugent, has one goal in mind and that is the goal of total disarmament of the masses. It is very hard for them to expand their totalitarian socialist agenda as long as the socialist do not control the arms. As soon as they get a bill through that ebbs away at our independence, they are always ready to push for the next step.

So, to use the gun banner's catch-phrase, today's decision is a good first step. The first step in restoring the 2nd amendment to its rightful place of honor in our Bill of Rights. The first step in removing the next draconian gun ban cooked up by the socialists. We will see several small steps this week as gun bans topple and courts are filled with Constitutional challenges.

The next good steps would include the removal of the gun control acts of 1986, 1968 and 1934. In that order will due but really toppling any of the three would be a great next step.

*We the people of these United States.

D-Day

Fat White Man — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 07:41:25 GMT

The United States Supreme Court is due to release their ruling today on the DC vs. Heller case. This will decide whether or not the 2nd amendment applies to individuals. The idea that the amendment exists as a "right" of a state is of course ludicrous. The whole concept of a state right did not exist before the late 60's--stupid hippies.

While I am sure hope that common sense will prevail, I really don't think it will be unanimous. Unless I am wrong, there are still a couple of libtards wearing robes.

Anywhoo, today at 10 a.m. we will know.

Jesse At It Again

Fat White Man — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 07:43:47 GMT

Jesse Jackson led yet another dumbass worthless liberal protest march--this time against a gun manufacturer located in a Chicago suburb. Seems that Jesse thinks if he can get 30 people to spend an hour "protesting" DS Arms, he can end gun violence in Chicago. Never mind that no DS Arms rifle has ever been linked to a crime in Chicago.

What a dipshit. Does anybody but the media actually listen to Jesse Jackson any more? Anyone else notice he only protests against businesses owned by white people? I think Jesse Jackson is a racist scumbag as well as a moron and all-around champion dipshit.

Hey Jesse, suck in my Bushmaster you commie bastard.

Lower Than Low

Fat White Man — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 07:39:00 GMT

An 18 year-old punk named Steven Tryon robbed a lemonade stand manned by 12 year olds. Problem is, the kids chased him down and called the police on a cell phone. After the punk barricaded himself in a house, police coaxed him out and arrested him.

Its a shame the piece of shit didn't brandish a weapon or resist arrest.