VERIZON DSL FACTS
1. Fact- Verizon DSL does not really have 24 hour support. What they have is 8 a.m. - 5 p.m. weekday support. If you call any other time, you will be transferred to some dillhole in a third world cesspool that is not equipped to handle any real problems.
2. Fact- If your DSL is going to go down, it will be while the monkey squad is manning the post, not 8-5 Mon. - Fri.
3. Fact- If you call DSL support after 8-5 Mon. - Fri., no matter which button you push or what words you utter to the auto-attendent, you will be sent to the help desk for dial-up and then have to be transferred to the DSL help desk.
4. Fact- You would think as a phone company, they would have a good connection but that is not the case. Probably has something to do with the local help desk being powered by a barefoot 7 year old on a bicycle hooked to a generator.
5. Fact- It is difficult to explain terms such as "PPPoE" or "Ethernet" to a people that have native words for "banana snake" and "mud hut."
6. Fact- If your DSL is out and you can't connect to the internet, they will tell you to use Verizon's online support.
7. Fact- If you are working on the internet and all of a sudden your connection drops, it must be because your modem needs reconfigured, your router needs reconfigured, and all three of your computers needs reconfigured and everything needs rebooted twice. Of course! It could not be that there is a switch out at the local DSL.
8. Fact- If you use any operating system other than Windows, just lie and say you are using Windows. They have an option for Apple and "other" operating system but that does not compute. Actual conversation:
Appoo: What version of Windows do you use?
FWM: I'm not using Windows, I am using Linux.
Appoo: Is that XP or Vista?
FWM: Neither. I'm using Linux.
Appoo: What version of Linux please?
FWM: Fedora.
Appoo: Uh, is that Fedora XP or Fedora Vista?
FWM: Fedora XP.
Appoo: Thank you very much I am pleased to help you now.
9. Fact- No matter how many hours you spend with these monkeys, your DSL will not be fixed until you can speak to an American 8am - 5pm, Mon. - Fri.
10. Fact-Verizon DSL sucks ass.
Oh and I am not writing this at home because my DSL is still down. Guess I'll call the monkey line again tonight.
2. Fact- If your DSL is going to go down, it will be while the monkey squad is manning the post, not 8-5 Mon. - Fri.
3. Fact- If you call DSL support after 8-5 Mon. - Fri., no matter which button you push or what words you utter to the auto-attendent, you will be sent to the help desk for dial-up and then have to be transferred to the DSL help desk.
4. Fact- You would think as a phone company, they would have a good connection but that is not the case. Probably has something to do with the local help desk being powered by a barefoot 7 year old on a bicycle hooked to a generator.
5. Fact- It is difficult to explain terms such as "PPPoE" or "Ethernet" to a people that have native words for "banana snake" and "mud hut."
6. Fact- If your DSL is out and you can't connect to the internet, they will tell you to use Verizon's online support.
7. Fact- If you are working on the internet and all of a sudden your connection drops, it must be because your modem needs reconfigured, your router needs reconfigured, and all three of your computers needs reconfigured and everything needs rebooted twice. Of course! It could not be that there is a switch out at the local DSL.
8. Fact- If you use any operating system other than Windows, just lie and say you are using Windows. They have an option for Apple and "other" operating system but that does not compute. Actual conversation:
Appoo: What version of Windows do you use?
FWM: I'm not using Windows, I am using Linux.
Appoo: Is that XP or Vista?
FWM: Neither. I'm using Linux.
Appoo: What version of Linux please?
FWM: Fedora.
Appoo: Uh, is that Fedora XP or Fedora Vista?
FWM: Fedora XP.
Appoo: Thank you very much I am pleased to help you now.
9. Fact- No matter how many hours you spend with these monkeys, your DSL will not be fixed until you can speak to an American 8am - 5pm, Mon. - Fri.
10. Fact-Verizon DSL sucks ass.
Oh and I am not writing this at home because my DSL is still down. Guess I'll call the monkey line again tonight.
Verizon DSL customer service is beyond horrible. They send you automatically to the help desk in India - if anything proves India does not have a superior educational system to the US, it is the morons Verizon hires. You tell them - there is a network problem. Then, the agony begins. These morons insist that because a test between the CO and your modem shows a good connection that everything works. You ask: What does your test measure? No answer. You ask: Do you measure how many packets I am getting? No response. You tell them my speed test shows dial up rates. Just forget it.
And finally you find an executive escalation number in the US and you are told not to share the number of the real help desk. Of course by that time you have not had service for two weeks and you give up and switch to cable (which bad as it is - is better than Verizon DSL).
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