Ever wonder what happened to Tattoo from Fantasy Island?  He changed his name and became a Venezuelan Dictator.

 

I just finished reading the text of the speech made by the Venezuelan NutJob Chavez. What a dumb ass.  The following are some highlights with a few of my comments. I figure if he can stand in the UN and spit up this garbage, I can add my rebuttal to it from the 'net.  If you want to read the whole text without my incessant blathering, go here.

"Representatives of the governments of the world, good morning to all of you. First of all, I would like to invite you, very respectfully, to those who have not read this book, to read it. Noam Chomsky, one of the most prestigious American and world intellectuals, Noam Chomsky, and this is one of his most recent books, 'Hegemony or Survival: The Imperialist Strategy of the United States.'" [Holds up book, waves it in front of General Assembly.]

He doesn't waste any time to whip out the commie propaganda.  He should have just held out a copy of Karl Marx's Communist Manifesto. It would have needed less introduction.

I think that the first people who should read this book are our brothers and sisters in the United States, because their threat is right in their own house. The devil is right at home. The devil, the devil himself, is right in the house.

"And the devil came here yesterday. Yesterday the devil came here. Right here." [crosses himself]

"And it smells of sulfur still today."

Yesterday, ladies and gentlemen, from this rostrum, the president of the United States, the gentleman to whom I refer as the devil, came here, talking as if he owned the world. Truly. As the owner of the world.

There's the famous part that made the news.

I think we could call a psychiatrist to analyze yesterday's statement made by the president of the United States.

Yeah, go ahead and get a shrink. But remember, he would probably lock you up instead you fruit loop.

They say they want to impose a democratic model. But that's their democratic model. It's the false democracy of elites, and, I would say, a very original democracy that's imposed by weapons and bombs and firing weapons.

Bombs and firing weapons? Now you're just getting me hot.

What type of democracy do you impose with marines and bombs?

A good one, thats what type. How did Venezuela get yours?  With guns and the graciousness of the United States, that's how. Without "firing weapons" your country would still be sending its gold shipments to Cadiz you dipshit.  Don't you have a national holiday called Army Day?

He launches into some drawn-out nonsense about peace and the middle east, blah-blah-blah, then he starts in on the United Nations

I don't think anybody in this room could defend the system. Let's accept - let's be honest. The U.N. system, born after the Second World War, collapsed. It's worthless.

I've been saying that for years.

But we, the assembly, have been turned into a merely deliberative organ. We have no power, no power to make any impact on the terrible situation in the world. And that is why Venezuela once again proposes, here, today, 20 September, that we re-establish the United Nations.

Re-establish it on Mars for all I care.

He then goes on to attack the Security Council and thinks it isn't fair that the United States has a permanent seat and veto power. That we are putting ourselves above the rest of the world and the Security Council isn't capable of leading and resolving anything. However, that would be different if Venezuela was on the Security Council.

I thank you all warmly on behalf of Venezuela, on behalf of our people, and on behalf of the truth, because Venezuela, with a seat on the Security Council, will be expressing not only Venezuela's thoughts, but it will also be the voice of all the peoples of the world, and we will defend dignity and truth.

There it is, the United States can't possibly decide what is best for the lessor nations but Venezuela sure as hell can. They will express the thoughts of the whole world.  Arrogant fucker isn't he?

What we now have to do is define the future of the world. Dawn is breaking out all over. You can see it in Africa and Europe and Latin America and Oceanea. I want to emphasize that optimistic vision.

I'm glad that dawn is breaking in all these places. Its been so dark there for so long. Hey, where the hell is Oceanea?  What country is that?  Does this asshole's world have a different map than the rest of the planet?

Venezuela joins that struggle, and that's why we are threatened. The U.S. has already planned, financed and set in motion a coup in Venezuela, and it continues to support coup attempts in Venezuela and elsewhere.

About time. It can't happen too soon.

And there you see another era born. The Summit of the 15, the Summit of the Nonaligned, adopted a historic resolution. This is the outcome document. Don't worry, I'm not going to read it.

The Summit of the what? Wasn't that on Babylon 5 or something? Glad he's not going to read it whatever it is.

So, my dear colleagues, Madam President, a new, strong movement has been born, a movement of the south. We are men and women of the south.

Oh shit. I've seen cars with those stickers all over the place.  "The South's Going To Rise Again!"  I thought those were just Georgia boys, I didn't know they were Venezuelans.  The Venezuelans are coming! The Venezuelans are coming!

And maybe we have to change location. Maybe we have to put the United Nations somewhere else; maybe a city of the south. We've proposed Venezuela.

He gets to the end and then starts making sense.  I agree with him. Let's send the U.N. to CrackAss or whatever his capital is called.

He finally finishes with talking about his doctor being locked in a plane, whatever the hell that means.  This guy is a certified numbnut.  He needs to crawl back into whatever third-world cesspool he emerged from and quit playing world leader.  He reminds you of the Stereotypical "youngest brother" in some movie or TV Show. The one that gets to go to college free because of the sweat of his siblings and parents and then comes back whining about all of the social injustices of the world.  He is "Meathead" from All In The Family.

This ass wipe verbally attacks the President and the United States and invokes satan.  What he should do is wake up every morning and thank GOD for the United States. Without this nation, the Monroe Doctrine and the presidents and foreign policy that came before, Chavez would probably be working on a sugar cane plantation for some Spanish Don.  How do you think your independence would have gone without the U.S. holding up its "Stay The Fuck Out Of Our Hemisphere" sign in front of the Spanish.  Where would you be today without American Imperialism. That's the same imperialism that brought us the Spanish-American War and kicked Spain out of the world theatre so your countrymen could rebel.

Chavez, you are a spoiled, whining little commie turd. America is not perfect and has problems. Whether or not I even agree with our president, you should show him respect.  I can call him the Devil—you cannot.  Remember that, no matter what, you were not born an American so you will always be beneath George or any other American for that matter.   You should sing the praises of America before there is a coup. Your countrymen are not as dumb as you and will eventually fix Venezuela by removing you.  Now is your chance. Apologize you fucktard.