Stupid Gym
Inspired by Dr. Phat Tony, I decide that I need to return to the gym. So I head there today thinking I'll pick up my normal routine of a few imaginary "laps" on the treadmill. Granted it has been a few weeks (okay months) since I had been there but there is no sense in what they have done to the place.
The place used to have all of the treadmills situated behind all of the elliptical machines. With this arrangement, I could run (okay, walk) on the treadmill and watch women with bouncing bottoms on the ellipticals in front of me. With this arrangement, I could stay on the treadmill far longer than I normally would with zero bouncing bottoms in front of me. Today, however, when I walk in, I find that the ellipticals have been moved back and the treadmills are in front. Shit. Now I have the option of switching to an elliptical machine but, hey, let's be honest: that's not going to happen. Or just pushing myself to stay longer on the treadmill with zero bouncing bottoms to watch.
To compound the problem, the treadmills are right in front of the TV's that broadcast junk news all morning. Now instead of bouncing bottoms, I can watch some couch chit chat "news" show like TODAY blast me with liberal feminist issues or I can watch the clock and lap counter click on the treadmill display. There's inspiration to stay on the treadmill longer.
Stupid Gym, now I'm never going to lose weight.
Just think of the view the people on the ellipticotalily - or what ever the hell that machine is - now get when you are on the tredmill...heh.
Once again, it pays to be skinny. I saw a gym once...
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The blog on the skinnygirl site reads.... Stupid Gym-- I know I was the one who griped to get the elipticals moved to the back of the gym because that creepy fat white man wouldn't stop staring at my butt. And it wasn't so much the staring that bothered me, but the wheezing noises he made when he walked on the treadmill. I felt like I was being stalked by an asmathic whale! Oh! I didn't know which was going to make him keel over first, the physical strain of holding his massive body up long enough to take 6 steps, or the dehydration from the drool continuously dripping form his lip... like ewww! Anyway, the gym finally moved the treadmills up front so he wouldn't be watching my butt but now I have to like look at him. I mean gosh! you know he probably has be be like hosed down at the local fire dept. once a week because he's too fat to like fit into a shower.
So now, the big problem.. well, like he's the "big" problem, but I mean like the other problem is that, besides having to look at him, he's now between me and the tv's. I mean it soo sucks that I have to look over his big gnarly head just to see Barb and the girls on the view. And now, he like watches the tv's and he like gets all red in the face like he's totally embarrassed that he's so fat. And now he like talks to the tv's like he's mad about what Barb and the girls are saying.. I mean like he is so totally gross and he like acts like the girls aren't like the coolest. What does he know? Stupid Gym. Why do they let fat people in anyway?
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